Identifying Weaknesses and strengths in an IELTS Graph Response: Analysis

IELTS Task 1: Response Analysis

Comparing Band 5.0 vs Band 8.0+ Responses

The Task

The graph below gives information about changes in the birth and death rates in New Zealand between 1901 and 2101. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below.

(Refer to the "Birth and death rates in New Zealand" graph provided)

Sample A: Weak Response Low Band Score

The graph gives information about changes in the birth and death rates in New Zealand between 1901 and 2101.

In 1901, the birth rate was 20,000 and the death rate was 9,000. In 1961 the birth rate reached a peak of 66,000 while the death rate was 23,000. In 2001 there were 55,000 births and 38,000 deaths, and in 2061 there were 60,000 deaths and 45,000 births.

At the end of the period there were 58,000 deaths and 45,000 births. Both the birth and death rates changed between 1901 and 2101. Perhaps this was because a lot of people did not want to have children.

(105 Words)

Why is this a low score? (Click to expand)

• Underlength: Only 105 words (minimum required is 150).
• Copied Intro: The introduction is copied word-for-word from the prompt.
• No Comparisons: It merely lists figures without comparing them.
• Ignored Future Tense: Fails to use future tense for the projected years (2021–2101).
• Inappropriate Opinion: The conclusion speculates on reasons ("people did not want children"), which is not allowed in Task 1.

Sample B: Exemplary Response High Band Score

The presented graph showcases the alterations in birth and death rates in New Zealand from 1901 up to 2101, including projected trends. Commencing with the former, it is apparent that throughout the indicated period, the birth rate consistently exceeded the death rate. The rate began at a modest 20,000 and spiked at its zenith in 1961... [See full text in lesson]... These opposing trends suggest that the death rate may surpass the birth rate in approximately 2041.

Overall, this graph highlights the noteworthy shifts in birth and death rates in New Zealand, particularly the stark contrast between the two.

(164 Words)

Why is this a high score? (Click to expand)

• Paraphrasing: Effectively rewords the prompt ("presented graph showcases," "alterations").
• Comparisons: Highlights differences ("consistently exceeded," "opposing trends," "surpass").
• Clear Overview: Identifies general trends without listing every single number.
• Future Tense: Correctly uses projection language ("is projected to," "anticipated to stabilize").
• Vocabulary: Uses precise terms like "zenith," "oscillated," and "dwindling."

Key Takeaway: To score highly, you must paraphrase the intro, group data logically, and avoid giving your own opinions.

• Related Articles

• Mastering Parallelism in IELTS Reading: Identifying Parallel and Different Phrases for Improved Comprehension and Success

  The technique of identifying whether phrases in IELTS Reading are parallel or different is known as parallelism or parallel structure. This technique is essential for success in the IELTS Reading section as it helps students to understand the meaning ...

• Effective Techniques for Commenting on Data in IELTS Graph Writing

  Advanced Data Commentary Elevating your IELTS Task 1 Score Merely listing numbers prevents you from achieving a high band score. To boost your Task Achievement and Coherence scores, you must interpret and comment on the data effectively. 1. Using ...

• Practice Exercise: Line Graph Writing

  Writing Task 1: Line Graph Analyze trends and make comparisons The chart below shows the changes that took place in three different areas of crime in Newport city centre from 2003-2012. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main ...

• Mastering Linking Words and Phrases: A Key to Cohesive IELTS Graph Writing

  Cohesion: Alternatives to "And Then" Essential Linking Words for Process Charts & Graphs To achieve a high Coherence & Cohesion score, you must avoid repeating "and then." Use these alternatives to show sequence and cause-and-effect. Vocabulary ...

• "Mastering Past Participle Forms of Verbs: A Key to Accurate Process Writing in IELTS Graph"

  Mastering Past Participles A Key to Accurate Process Writing (IELTS Task 1) To write accurate sentences for Process Diagrams, you must master the Past Participle form. In IELTS Task 1, these are essential for constructing the Passive Voice (e.g., "is ...