Identifying Weaknesses and strengths in an IELTS Graph Response: Analysis

Identifying Weaknesses and strengths in an IELTS Graph Response: Analysis



The graph gives information about changes in the birth and death rates in New Zealand between 1901 and 2101.
In 1901, the birth rate was 20,000 and the death rate was 9,000. In 1961 the birth rate reached a peak of 66,000 while the death rate was 23,000. In 2001 there were 55,000 births and 38,000 deaths, and in 2061 there were 60,000 deaths and 4S.000 births. 
At the end of the period there were 58,000 deaths and 45,000 births.
Both the birth and death rates changed between 1901 and 2101. Perhaps this was because a lot of people did not want to have children.
(105 Words)
This is a weak answer which would score a low 1ELTS band. Problems:
  • underlength
  • introduction is copied from task
  • no comparison between figures
  • no focus on general trends
  • no reference to the future (see projection on graph)
  • conclusion tries to explain information rather than summarise it
  • poor linking of ideas (only done by time markers)
  • limited range of grammar and vocabulary

  1. Underlength: The answer is only 105 words long, which is significantly shorter than the recommended length for a task like this.
  2. Introduction is copied from task: The first sentence of the answer is almost an exact copy of the task prompt, which is not ideal. It is important to rephrase the prompt in your own words and add some additional information or analysis.
  3. No comparison between figures: The answer simply lists the birth and death rates for different years, without making any meaningful comparisons between them. It is important to identify any significant changes or trends in the data and explain them.
  4. No focus on general trends: The answer does not focus on any overall patterns or trends in the data, which is a key part of the task. It is important to identify any significant changes or shifts in the data over time.
  5. No reference to the future: The task prompt includes a projection for future birth and death rates, but the answer does not make any reference to this. It is important to consider how the trends in the data might continue into the future.
  6. Conclusion tries to explain information rather than summarise it: The final sentence of the answer tries to provide an explanation for the changes in birth and death rates, which is not necessary. The conclusion should simply summarise the key points and findings of the answer.
  7. Poor linking of ideas (only done by time markers): The answer relies heavily on time markers to link different ideas together, without using any other cohesive devices. It is important to use a range of linking words and phrases to make the answer more coherent.
  8. Limited range of grammar and vocabulary: The answer uses a very limited range of grammar and vocabulary, which is likely to limit the score. It is important to use a variety of sentence structures and vocabulary to demonstrate a good level of English proficiency.
Scoring High in IELTS Writing Task 1: An Exemplary Response to Graph Analysis

The presented graph showcases the alterations in birth and death rates in New Zealand from 1901 up to 2101, including projected trends. Commencing with the former, it is apparent that throughout the indicated period, the birth rate consistently exceeded the death rate. The rate began at a modest 20,000 and spiked at its zenith in 1961, where it peaked at 66,000. In the intervening years, it oscillated between 65,000 and 50,000 and is predicted to marginally decline to roughly 45,000 births by the close of this century.

In contrast, the death rate commenced at a level below 10,000 and has increased unceasingly up to the present day. This trend is projected to further accelerate from 2021 to 2051, where it is anticipated to stabilize at approximately 60,000, before dwindling slightly by 2101. These opposing trends suggest that the death rate may surpass the birth rate in approximately 2041, and the significant disparity between the two will reverse in the latter part of this century.

Overall, this graph highlights the noteworthy shifts in birth and death rates in New Zealand, particularly the stark contrast between the two. While the birth rate is experiencing a gradual decline, the death rate continues to surge upwards. The implications of this data are significant, particularly for policymakers, who must account for these fluctuations when planning for the future.
(164 words)



  1. Fulfils criteria for length: The response meets the criteria for a good IELTS task 1 response in terms of length, which is a minimum of 150 words.

  2. Introduction is paraphrased: The response effectively paraphrases the information given in the task prompt, using different words to introduce the main topic of the graph.

  3. Main sets of data are compared and contrasted: The response provides a clear and detailed comparison of the birth and death rates over time, highlighting the differences between the two trends.

  4. Clear focus on different trends: The response maintains a clear focus on the different trends shown in the graph, which is important in an IELTS task 1 response. The writer avoids speculating on the reasons for the trends or making unsupported claims.

  5. Important features of the graph included: The response mentions the cross-over point when the death rate is predicted to overtake the birth rate, which is an important feature of the graph.

  6. Information summarised in conclusion: The response provides a brief summary of the information presented in the body paragraphs, which is a good way to conclude an IELTS task 1 response.

  7. Well-organised information: The response is well-organised, with clear paragraph breaks and a logical flow of information.

  8. Range of linkers and referencing expressions: The writer uses a range of linking words and referencing expressions to connect different ideas and sentences, which makes the response more coherent and easier to follow.

  9. Good range of vocabulary and structures, used accurately: The response uses a good range of vocabulary and sentence structures, which demonstrates a high level of English proficiency. The writer uses these words and structures accurately, which is important in an IELTS task 1 response.